Hopeful, Cheerful, and Undaunted Retreat
The Blessings of the Parsonage (Rev. Michael Smith)
Whether you live in a church owned parsonage or not, the pastor’s family is watched by the congregation as well as the community. This has often been called “living in a fish bowl.” This can add a certain amount of stress on a pastor, his wife, and their children. But there are blessings to be had in the parsonage, too.
Unofficially: “Happy House or Mad House” (Rev. Timothy Buelow)
Pastor Timothy Buelow and his wife Sara have more than 38 years’ experience living in 6 “parsonages,” including the years they lived in a Swedish apartment tower, owned a home in Carthage, Missouri and now rent in Lake Havasu City, Arizona. For them it’s always been a parsonage, even when the church didn’t own it, and the congregation has always been invited to come over to “sit for a spell,” or gather for a Bible Study, a “Sunday School” (weekday) lesson, a St. Lucia open house with glögg, or to watch something of mutual interest on TV, like the “Hammer of God” video or a football game. Sometimes, awkward things have happened and provided years of laughter in retrospect. Sometimes it’s been a last refuge, and the walls have heard their fair share of “spouting off”—but not revealed what they heard in public—and those walls have preserved ministerial sanity in the process. Thank God for good insulation!
Most of all, we hope to share the joy of the pastoral home as we have known it and we hope your funny bone is tickled in the process. And then we’ll open the floor for your comedy and joyful anecdotes as well.
Stressors on a Pastor’s Family (Dr. Joshua Mears)
A marriage is truly a profound blessing and a foundational protective factor for a healthy society. A Pastor is safeguarded and blessed in their ministry by having a balanced and healthy marital relationship. “There is no more lovely, friendly and charming relationship, communion or company than a good marriage”- Martin Luther. Within this discussion we will discuss the ways that the old evil foe will attempt to attack and undermine the marital relationship. Examining key sources of stress within marital dysfunction will help pastors and their wives to honor the vows they have made on a daily basis. This discussion will attempt to encourage ways that the Pastor can prioritize his home vocation and see how this will bear fruit in his relationships in the home and in the pastoral office.
Breakout – Wives – (Discussion led by Mrs. Sara Buelow)
Various topics will be brought up, to give our pastors’ wives opportunity to speak about real issues, concerns, etc. The goal of this breakout is to provide some cheer and comfort, guidance, encouragement, and, if needed, some sisterly forgiveness. Some topics may include (but more will probably be added): How do we support our husbands (husbands, fathers, pastors)? Friendships with parishioners. Sisterly relationships. Challenges of a move/Assimilating to a new congregation. Managing expectations of our husbands throughout the church year.
Breakout – Pastors (Dr. Joshua Mears)
It is not uncommon in our society to hear about husband and wife ministerial teams, where both are “pastors” of some sort or another. This is not a biblical practice as the Lord calls only men into the pastoral office. However, as in so many other occupations, what happens at work tends to be discussed at home and when the life of the congregation is such a part of the family’s life, the line between what is appropriate to share and what should be kept in confidence can be rather blurred. Is there any advice to give? How do you protect/insulate your wife/family from burdens they are not called to bear? Is it wise to have your wife as a confidant? Etc.
The different generations tend to have different outlooks on the work/family balance.
It is only natural that as we see things that “worked” in previous generations, we mimic those practices, while recognizing what didn’t work, and desire to make changes. Each generation also has its own challenges both in the family as well as in society. How does a pastor set a healthy balance of unity and separation for his family and the congregation? How might this help him to avoid burnout and even invigorate him for the work to be done. How can the pastor’s family also encourage a cheerful labor for the Lord?
Refreshed by the Word – Home/Family Devotions (Rev. David Thompson)
The pastor’s profession suits him well for shepherding his own family. First and foremost, the pastor leads his family in devotions for the spiritual care of his family, that his wife and children grow in grace and in the knowledge of their Savior. His training prepares him to teach and train while rightly dividing Law and Gospel so that his family members may develop tender and good consciences, through the constant use of forgiveness and absolution. Leading home devotions in the parsonage will also help the pastor professionally as he practices what he preaches. He will gain insights into what has worked and not worked for his family, what resources he appreciates and would encourage, as well as what resources he would discourage.
Lord’s Supper – Christ’s Union with His Bride (Rev. Prof. Mark DeGarmeaux)
It is not a coincidence that the Bible begins and ends with a marriage, or that Jesus’ first miracle was at the wedding of Cana. The Lord created man and woman in His image and imprinted this relationship with His divine grace and blessing. Though this institution is now plagued with sin and its corruption, the Lord has provided a solution, nourishment for the way, that unites the family together in the body of Christ. As Solomon once wrote: And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken. (Eccl. 4:12) The Lord preserve His pastors and their families through the difficulties and strengthen them with an undaunted spirit that trusts in Him and His mercy through Word and Sacrament.
