It was so hard. I loved her; there was no question of that, and I was pretty sure that she loved me. I knew that asking her father for her hand in marriage would be the right thing to do, but it would also be nerve-wracking. The location of the meeting with her dad (his “gun room”) didn’t help either. But after an hour of “chatting,” my love overcame my fear. I asked her dad for her hand. He said “yes” and so did she! Within hours, I was engaged and ready to tell the world.
Maybe you’ve also been held in the vice-like grip of anxiety when there was something important to say. Christians often feel this way when engaging others with Jesus. There is genuine love for the person. It is an important, “engaging” moment, but fear threatens to keep us silent. We worry about how to bring it up, what to say, what their reaction will be, and what rejection might feel like. So how can you overcome your fear and start a spiritual conversation? Here are some things to consider.
Jesus loves you and your friend. St. Paul said, “For Christ’s love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again” (2 Corinthians 5:14-15 NIV). Jesus’ love is what motivates us to start a spiritual conversation.
The eternal perspective. Remember that without Jesus your friend, family member, or the stranger is going to spend eternity in hell. This truly is a matter of life and death.
Nothing is worse than hell. It’s easy to wonder, “What if I mess up and make the situation worse?” Just admit that you might not handle the spiritual conversation like a pro. You might even say the wrong thing at the wrong time or not have exactly the right answer to a particular question. But you can’t make it worse! If your friend doesn’t believe in Jesus, their future is in hell. What could be worse than that?
Prayer. Even as you’re sitting across the coffee table, pray that the Lord will give you the opportunity and the words to engage them with Jesus.
God is faithful. Trust that God will use you and guide you in what to say. Worrying will inhibit your ability to apply God’s Word. Trust God to work through His Word.
The goal. Engage them with Jesus. You aren’t trying to win a debate. Although some lies and false teachings might need to be confronted during your talk, that isn’t your goal. Just tell them about Jesus.
The Start. We would all love to have a smooth transition into a spiritual conversation, like Jesus at the well with the Samaritan woman. Discussion of natural disasters, family struggles, and moral issues in society can create an opening. However, sometimes you will have to create it. You might do this by saying, “There is something that I want to talk to you about.” It might not sound as smooth and natural as you’d like, but the conversation is started. Remember your goal: simply engage others with Jesus.
My life would be very different today if fear had conquered love and kept me silent: no wife, no children, and much less happiness. How different your life would be if someone hadn’t engaged you with Jesus! Starting a spiritual conversation can be difficult, but it is always worth it. Jesus loves you and all people, so let them know. Start a spiritual conversation and engage someone with Jesus!
Timothy Hartwig is pastor of Peace Lutheran Church in North Mankato, Minnesota.